Monsters and Madman

ACT ONE: SCENE FOUR

DIGBY JONES office, a couple of hours later. BERRINGER enters and lights a cigarette. He stands in the doorway, looking around the room. WHITWORTH is sitting in JONES' chair, with his feet propped up on the desk. He's smiling broadly, until he sees that it is BERRINGER, not JONES, who is at the door. Like a trapped animal, he stands up and backs toward the wall.

BERRINGER
Jesus. What are you doing here?

WHITWORTH
I...uh...well. I needed to...what are you doing here?

(SILENCE, HE SHRUGS)

BERRINGER
Tell me.

WHITWORTH
I was waiting.

BERRINGER
For what?

WHITWORTH
For Doctor Jones.

BERRINGER
Why? Is this another one of your celebrated blackouts?

WHITWORTH
No.

BERRINGER
(WAVING HIS HAND IN FRONT OF HIS FACE) You are conscious...aren't you?

WHITWORTH
Yes.

BERRINGER
Good. Now tell me, why are you here? Really.

WHITWORTH
(SHAKILY) Why are you here?

BERRINGER
Let's just say that I was in the neighborhood. And I saw the light was on. Answer me, why are you here?

WHITWORTH
I told you. I have to see Doctor Jones.

BERRINGER
Yeah. To which I replied, what for?

WHITWORTH
It's none of your business.

BERRINGER
What were you doing behind the desk?

WHITWORTH
Masturbating.

BERRINGER
With the lights on?

WHITWORTH
I like to live dangerously.

BERRINGER
Why didn't you say something when I came in?

WHITWORTH
How was I to know it was you? I thought you were a burglar.

(SILENCE, HE CHOKES, THEN HE STARTS TO SNIFFLE, THEN HE CHOKES AGAIN)

BERRINGER
Now what's wrong?

WHITWORTH
Nothing.

BERRINGER
Are you sick?

WHITWORTH
You might say that.

BERRINGER
Then maybe you should see a real doctor.

(WHITWORTH GRUNTS LAUGHS)

What's so funny? If you're sick you see a doctor, don't you?

WHITWORTH
That's why I'm here, you idiot.

BERRINGER
(SARDONICALLY) Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot where I was.

(PAUSE)

Does Jones know you're here? It's three o'clock in the morning, for Christ's sake.

WHITWORTH
He's meeting me here.

BERRINGER
At three in the morning?

WHITWORTH
The man's a professional. You wouldn't know about that.

BERRINGER
The man's an insomniac.

(PAUSE)

Just what in the hell is so goddamned urgent that you have to rouse your psychiatrist out in the middle of the night?

WHITWORTH
I said it was none of your business. And what is it that's so urgent that requires your presence here, Berringer? Officer Berringer.

BERRINGER
What is this, twenty-questions we're playing? Hell, let's have a party. Grab some girls, a bottle of booze, a deck of cards. We'll have a grand time. Answer the question, Whitworth. What are you doing in a dark office at three o'clock in the morning?

WHITWORTH
I told you. Waiting.

BERRINGER
For what?

WHITWORTH
For Godot.

BERRINGER
For Jones.

WHITWORTH
Good boy.

BERRINGER
Screw you, Whitworth. I can still have you arrested, you know.

WHITWORTH
For what? Being out past curfew?

BERRINGER
For breaking and entering.

WHITWORTH
The door was open.

BERRINGER
Bullshit. The lock's broken.

WHITWORTH
Circumstantial evidence.

(SILENCE)

BERRINGER
Are you drunk? Is that what's wrong with you?

WHITWORTH
No. Are you?

BERRINGER
(PERSISTING) Why do you need to see Jones?

WHITWORTH
Why do you want to know?

BERRINGER
Because something happened.

WHITWORTH
(HIS TURN TO BE GENUINELY CURIOUS) What? What happened?

BERRINGER
(SUSPICIOUS) Where were you, say, around midnight?

(NO ANSWER; WHITWORTH FIDGETS IN HIS CHAIR)

Do you know?

WHITWORTH
Maybe yes, maybe no.

BERRINGER
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TONIGHT GODDAMNIT?!!

WHITWORTH
Please...don't yell. You'll wake the baby.

BERRINGER
Answer me.

WHITWORTH
I don't know.

BERRINGER
Shit...

WHITWORTH
You asked.

BERRINGER
There was another murder tonight, Whitworth.

(PAUSE)

At midnight.

WHITWORTH
I didn't do it.

(PAUSE)

Why are you here? If there was a murder...why did you come here? Were you looking for me?

BERRINGER
No. No, I wasn't.

(PAUSE)

Does Jones know you're here?

WHITWORTH
Yes.

(SILENCE)

BERRINGER
Why Whitworth...why?

WHITWORTH
Why what?

BERRINGER
Why a psychiatrist at three...

(HE LOOKS AT HIS WATCH) Shit. Why a psychiatrist at three-sixteen in the morning?

WHITWORTH
I'm a busy man. This is the only time I could fit it into my schedule.

BERRINGER
You're in enough trouble already. Don't compound it by being a smart ass.

WHITWORTH
Seems I've been in trouble for quite some time now.

BERRINGER
(CONFUSED) What do you mean?

WHITWORTH
You wouldn't understand. I'm not sure I understand. That's why I'm here.

(PAUSE)

I didn't kill anybody. You've got to believe that. I didn't kill that girl.

BERRINGER
(SOFTLY, LIKE A FRIEND) I never said it was a girl who was killed

(WHITWORTH'S FACE GOES BLAND)

WHITWORTH
I just assumed. They've all been women, haven't they?

BERRINGER
Yes, but--

WHITWORTH
(SHRUGGING, REGAINING HIS COMPOSURE) That's the oldest trick in the book. Making me think...I should've known better.

BERRINGER
But, given the fact that you can't account for your whereabouts this evening--

WHITWORTH
(SHARPLY) Damnit, I didn't kill anybody.

BERRINGER
(EQUALLY TERSE) Then where were you?

WHITWORTH
I don't know.

BERRINGER
I think you do.

WHITWORTH
And I think I don't. I--

BERRINGER
I know. You blacked out.

WHITWORTH
(DEFIANTLY) That's right.

BERRINGER
You're not fooling me with this blackout crap, Whitworth. Maybe you can fool Jones, the professional...but it won't set with me. What do you take me for? An idiot?

WHITWORTH
If the shoe fits...

BERRINGER
What happened? Couldn't you score?

WHITWORTH
(TOTALLY PUZZLED) What?

BERRINGER
(HE LOOKS UP AT THE WALL AND NOTICES THAT ONE OF THE SWORDS IS MISSING. THIS INTERRUPTS HIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT. HE WALKS OVER TO THE DISPLAY AND STANDS IN FRONT OF IT, SILENT FOR A FEW SECONDS AS HE RUNS THE IMPLICATION OF THIS OVER AND OVER IN HIS MIND.)

I'll be damned. I'll be goddamned.

WHITWORTH
What do you mean by score? Score what?

BERRINGER
(SKIDDING BACK TO REALITY) But for the life of me, I can't understand why you'd want to.

WHITWORTH
Want to? Want to what?

BERRINGER
Was it for the prescription? Is that it?

WHITWORTH
(COMPLETELY BEWILDERED NOW) I have no idea what you're talking about.

BERRINGER
Yes you do.

WHITWORTH
No...I don't.

BERRINGER
You do.

WHITWORTH
Honestly...I don't.

BERRINGER
I've seen your record. My partner showed it to me. You've been busted for drugs before, haven't you?

WHITWORTH
Oh. So that's it. Shit, why not charge me with everything? Murder, drug trafficking..

(HE MOTIONS TO THE ROOM IN GENERAL)

Trespassing. I parked by a fire hydrant out front. Why don't you get me for that too?

BERRINGER
I'm just telling you what I know. You can't deny it, can you? Barbiturates, I think it was.

WHITWORTH
So?

BERRINGER
Downers? Quite a coincidence, don't you think?

WHITWORTH
Are you saying I'm feigning mental illness to get downers? Are you really that stupid?

(PAUSE)

I used 'em when I was in college. I was high strung, really freaking out, so a friend of mind sold me some pills. I used 'em...and they worked, for a little while

(PAUSE)

It got out of hand on me, I lost control.

BERRINGER
You got busted, you mean.

WHITWORTH
But I haven't touched anything for almost ten years now. Not one damn pill.

BERRINGER
How'd you beat it?

WHITWORTH
I went back to being high strung.

BERRINGER
That's not what I meant.

WHITWORTH
I didn't beat it. I got put on probation. It was such a Mickey Mouse charge

(PAUSE)

I was able to finish school. I got my degree, got married and settled down, as they say. And now I'm...well...

(PAUSE)

And now I'm seeing a psychiatrist.

(PAUSE)

You might say I've arrived.

(SILENCE, BERRINGER THINKS THIS OVER)

BERRINGER
So...

WHITWORTH
So what?

BERRINGER
Why are you really here, Whitworth?

WHITWORTH
I told you...I'm not going to tell you. It's personal. Even if you arrest me, I'm not going to tell you.

(SILENCE)

BERRINGER
I see.

(PAUSE)

Leave.

WHITWORTH
What?

BERRINGER
You heard me. Get out of here.

WHITWORTH
Why?

BERRINGER
None of your business.

WHITWORTH
But--

BERRINGER
Scram.

WHITWORTH
I need to see Jones.

BERRINGER
It'll have to wait.

WHITWORTH
Why?

BERRINGER
Goodbye, Whitworth.

WHITWORTH
I'll wait outside.

BERRINGER
No you won't.

WHITWORTH
Why can't I wait outside?

BERRINGER
Because I said so. And I'm the law.

WHITWORTH
What does that have to do with it? It's a free country, you know.

BERRINGER
Not tonight. Run along now, Ian. Be a good little boy and go home.

WHITWORTH
(PLEADING) But I need to see the doctor.

BERRINGER
You got a problem? That why you need to see the doctor?

WHITWORTH
(DESPERATELY) Yes.

BERRINGER
Then go get drunk. It works for me.

(PAUSE)

But you do have to leave, because I have some very important business with Mr. Jones. I'm going to get very angry if you stay here much longer.

(SILENCE)

WHITWORTH
Shit...

BERRINGER
My sentiments exactly.

WHITWORTH
What kind of business do you have with Jones?

BERRINGER
Don't ask questions...just leave. I'll make amends with the good doctor for you. Goodbye.

(WHITWORTH STARTS FOR THE DOOR)

Oh. Whitworth?

WHITWORTH
What?

BERRINGER
Have a good day.

(WHITWORTH LEAVES. BERRINGER WALKS OVER TO THE WALL. HE STARTS TO WHISTLE. HE LOOKS AT THE BOOKCASE, THE DESK, AND FINALLY, THE EMPTY WALL. HE SHAKES HIS HEAD, THEN WALKS OVER TO THE SWITCH AND TURNS OFF THE LIGHT. ONLY HIS WHISTLING IS HEARD IN THE DARKNESS. A FEW SECONDS LATER, THE DOOR OPENS AND A SHAFT OF LIGHT SHOOTS IN. JONES ENTERS AND TURNS ON THE LIGHTS. HE IS HOLDING THE SWORD, WHICH HE REPLACES ON THE WALL. BERRINGER IS SITTING ON HIS DESK, SMOKING A CIGARETTE. HE SMILES AT JONES.)

BERRINGER
Hello.

JONES
(SURPRISED, BUT MAINTAINING HIS COMPOSURE) Hello.

BERRINGER
Surprised?

JONES
(OBVIOUSLY TROUBLED ABOUT SOMETHING) No. Not really.

BERRINGER
Oh?

JONES
I smelled your cigarette when I walked in the room. You really should quit, inspector. Those things are killers...they'll shave years off your life.

BERRINGER
Pleasure has its price. Doesn't it, doctor?

JONES
It certainly does.

BERRINGER
Did you have it shined? Sharpened...maybe?

JONES
Pardon me?

BERRINGER
The sword.

JONES
Oh. Yes...the sword.

(PAUSE, HE SEARCHES FOR THE RIGHT WORD)

Appraised. I had it appraised. It's worth a small fortune, they tell me. How about that? But I don't think I'd ever part with it.

BERRINGER
(MILDLY AMUSED, DERISIVELY) Why not?

JONES
It's a family heirloom. To me, it's priceless.

BERRINGER
I see.

(PAUSE)

Your nutcake was here, waiting for you. I sent him on his way.

JONES
(SHOCKED) Whitworth? He's been here?

BERRINGER
Yeah. I told him it was time for us grownups to talk.

JONES
(INCREDULOUSLY) About what?

BERRINGER
About many things, Dr. Jones. Many things.

JONES
Berringer, in no way can I condone what you've just done. A doctor-patient relationship is sacrosanct. You desecrated the church when you sent that man away.

BERRINGER
Human life is sacrosanct, doctor. And I protect it. Seems we have conflicting ideologies.

JONES
Damnit Berringer, the man needed a friendly shoulder to lean on. Why in the hell did you send him away? And what are you doing here in the first place? It's almost three-thirty in the morning.

BERRINGER
Funny, but I would've thought you'd ask me that question the minute you saw me. But you said you weren't really that surprised to see me.

JONES
Tell me, do you go on these midnight jaunts often?

BERRINGER
No. Do you?

JONES
If a patient needs me, yes.

BERRINGER
Like tonight.

JONES
Yes. Like tonight.

BERRINGER
You're very dedicated.

JONES
This may sound like a cliché.

to you, inspector, but I believe in the importance of my profession. I help people who are in trouble, who need something to grab onto in the dark. I have a job to do...and I take it very seriously.

BERRINGER
So do I, doctor. But my job is much more primitive than yours.

(SILENCE)

JONES
What do you want?

BERRINGER
(HE WALKS AROUND THE ROOM PENSIVELY, STOPS TO LIGHT ANOTHER CIGARETTE, AND CONTINUES WALKING UNTIL HE IS STANDING DIRECTLY BEHIND JONES, LOOKING DOWN AT HIS BACK)

It's you...isn't it? You're the one we've been looking for. The murder weapon's right there on the wall.

(SILENCE, JONES CLOSES HIS EYES AND BREATHES DEEPLY)

JONES
Listen, I--

(HE DOESN'T GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO FINISH. WHITWORTH BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR, FOLLOWED BY YOUNG. WHITWORTH IS IN HANDCUFFS)

YOUNG
(PUSHING HIM) Move it, asshole.

BERRINGER
What in the hell is going on? What are you doing here?

(VISIBLY SHAKEN, WHITWORTH STARTS TO CRY)

YOUNG
What are you doing here?

WHITWORTH
I didn't do anything, I didn't do anything. I'm innocent.

YOUNG
Like the hell you are.

(TO BERRINGER)

I found him skulking around outside.

BERRINGER
So?

YOUNG
I was looking for him.

BERRINGER
So you arrested him?

YOUNG
Yeah.

BERRINGER
May I ask why?

YOUNG
Because he's our man.

BERRINGER
What?

YOUNG
He's guilty as sin.

BERRINGER
Why?

YOUNG
Why do you think? That murder tonight. And all the others.

(JONES LAUGHS AT THIS)

What are you laughing at?

JONES
You.

YOUNG
Still think he's innocent, huh?

JONES
You're both fools...aren't you?

YOUNG
(TO BERRINGER) What's he talking about? Did I miss something?

BERRINGER
(POINTING TO JONES)

I was going to arrest him.

YOUNG
Why?

BERRINGER
What do you mean why?

YOUNG
You think he's the killer?

JONES
Does he think? That's a more pertinent question.

YOUNG
Why don't you just shut up?

JONES
It's my office.

BERRINGER
(QUIETLY) Dr. Jones is our killer.

JONES
No I'm not.

(PAUSE)

Prove it.

WHITWORTH
(RELIEVED, TO JONES) You're the killer?

JONES
No.

BERRINGER
Proof? For one thing there's the sword.

JONES
Speculation and circumstantial evidence. At best.

BERRINGER
Forensics will match the victims' wounds with the murder weapon, which is over there on the wall.

(JONES LOOKS AT WHITWORTH)

WHITWORTH
(INNOCENTLY) I'm innocent.

JONES
I'm not so sure anymore.

BERRINGER
(PULLING THE SCRIP FROM HIS BREAST POCKET) Annnd...most incriminating of all, if you ask my opinion...

(SILENCE, HE SMILES PROUDLY)

JONES
What is it?

BERRINGER
You dropped this. I found it by Rosemary Thompson's body.

YOUNG
What is it?

BERRINGER
A prescription. Made out to Ian Whitworth. By Digby Jones.

JONES
(TO WHITWORTH) You--

WHITWORTH
(CAPITALIZING ON THE SITUATION) I didn't drop it. You never gave me a prescription.

BERRINGER
I know, Jones dropped it.

JONES
What makes you so sure?

BERRINGER
It's post-dated. You were gonna give it to him tomorrow. Weren't you?

(SILENCE, JONES CONSIDERS THE IMPLICATION OF THIS)

JONES
It'll be your word against mine.

BERRINGER
I was hoping you'd confess. It'd make it a lot easier for all of us.

(SILENCE)

JONES
I'll just say you planted it there. I'll say you took it off my desk when you were here earlier.

BERRINGER
Yeah? How do you explain the sword?

JONES
It won't match. It can't.

YOUNG
You are guilty, aren't you?

JONES
You want the truth? Is that what you want?

YOUNG
Yeah.

JONES
(IRONICALLY) The truth. It's such an elusive little thing, isn't it? Goddamnit, I'm innocent.

BERRINGER
Then how did the prescription get there?

JONES
You tell me.

BERRINGER
You dropped it there. Bad mistake.

JONES
(MATTER-OF-FACTLY) Are you going to arrest me?

BERRINGER
Yes.

JONES
Then do it.

BERRINGER
All right. You have the right to remain silent.

JONES
The charge is murder, I presume.

BERRINGER
You'll be charged with the murder of Rosemary Thompson. More specifically, the charge is first degree murder. Now, you have the right to remain silent--

JONES
(HIS ANGER RISING) Right? You have no right to do this to me.

BERRINGER
Shut up. You have the right to the presence of an attorney--

JONES
I'll be acquitted. It'll cost you your badge.

BERRINGER
Would you shut up? You have the right to remain silent.

JONES
You're really serious about this, aren't you?

(HE HEADS FOR THE DOOR)

I'm going home. Goodnight.

(HE WALKS OUT THE DOOR)

BERRINGER
Goddamnit. Grab him.

(YOUNG AND WHITWORTH GO OUT AFTER HIM. THE SOUND OF A STRUGGLE IS HEARD OFFSTAGE. THEY PULL HIM BACK INTO THE ROOM, STILL WRIGGLING)

The game is over. Can't you understand that?

(JONES BREAKS FREE FROM HIS CAPTORS, GRABS A SWORD FROM THE WALL AND JUMPS ON TOP OF THE DESK)

JONES
I'm telling you...I'm not going with you

(YOUNG STARTS TO CIRCLE AROUND BEHIND HIM)

WHITWORTH
Be reasonable...

JONES
Screw you!

(TURNING TO WHITWORTH)

Idiots! This is your man!

BERRINGER
Put the sword down, Jones.

JONES
No!

BERRINGER
I'm warning you. Put it down.

JONES
You don't scare me.

BERRINGER
You don't scare me, either. Drop it.

JONES
(BEYOND REASON NOW) I won't go!

(AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS) I will not be caged! I'm innocent!

(HE DRAWS THE SWORD FROM ITS SHEATH, BERRINGER AND YOUNG DRAW THEIR GUNS SIMULTANEOUSLY)

I'll take you with me Berringer.

(HE LUNGES AT HIM. BERRINGER SHOOTS HIM IN THE LEG, CAUSING HIM TO DROP THE SWORD. THIS REDUCES HIS ENERGY CONSIDERABLY. HE SITS PASSIVELY IN THE CHAIR.)

BERRINGER
(TO YOUNG) Call an ambulance.

YOUNG
Right

(HE GOES TO THE DESK AND PICKS UP THE PHONE)

Anyone in particular?

BERRINGER
Just do it.

(HE WALKS OVER TO JONES)

Put your hands behind your back. I'm going to handcuff you.

(JONES OBEYS. HE SNAPS THE CUFFS SHUT.)

And that, as they say, is that.

YOUNG
(HANGING UP THE PHONE) Line's busy.

BERRINGER
There's no hurry. He'll live.

CURTAIN

ACT TWO: SCENE ONE

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