A Death in the Family

ACT TWO: SCENE TWO

MICHAEL enters from the hallway, smiling and singing to himself. He is carrying an oblong package, which he puts on the bar. Still humming, he turns on a radio. The song is Paul Simon's Mother and Child Reunion. He goes back to the bar and opens the box. It is a shotgun, which he holds up, looks at, and then puts back into its container. Smiling mischievously, he hides it under the bar, and then pours himself a drink. HARVEY enters from the kitchen.

HARVEY
There you are.

MICHAEL
Hello.

HARVEY
Where in the hell have you been?

MICHAEL

(TURNING OFF THE MUSIC) Sherman's house. Where have you been?

HARVEY
Right here.

MICHAEL

Why didn't you go to the buffet?

(MIMICKING A LITTLE CHILD'S VOICE)

It was really yummy. You would have enjoyed it.

HARVEY
I guess we should've gone.

MICHAEL
So why did you come back here?

HARVEY
I wanted to talk to Sylvia.

MICHAEL

Oh? Did you poke her?

HARVEY
You stop it right now. Okay?

MICHAEL

(ALMOST TOO SWEETLY) All right.

HARVEY
Why are you so happy?

MICHAEL

It's a beautiful day.

HARVEY
The day of our father's funeral is beautiful?

MICHAEL
Yes.

HARVEY
I think that's terrible.

MICHAEL
You would. Tell me, would you prefer, would it make you any happier, if I wallowed in self pity for about ten days? Would it alter the situation any? No.

(PAUSE)

Hell, might as well be happy if you can.

HARVEY
That's not the point.

MICHAEL
It sure as hell is.

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
Michael, I don't know what the point is. But I just don't think you appreciate the...the---

MICHAEL
Gravity that the turn of events has generated?

HARVEY
Yes.

MICHAEL

Or something like that.

HARVEY
No, you hit it square on the head. This is serious business. I think you're taking it a little too lightly.

MICHAEL

Oh. Well, I'm sorry. Next time something like this happens I'll try to behave according to protocol.

HARVEY
Protocol?

MICHAEL

Yeah...protocol. I'll observe protocol at mom's funeral. I'll behave twice as well as everybody else. Okay?

HARVEY
You'll never change, will you?

MICHAEL

Should I?

HARVEY
Only if you're unhappy with your present personality.

MICHAEL

Oh, go play with yourself.

HARVEY
(WARMLY) I'm sorry, Mike.

MICHAEL

Don't be.

HARVEY
(SIGHS) Where's mom?

MICHAEL

How should I know? She's a grown woman, she can take care of herself.

HARVEY
You brought her home.

MICHAEL

She was tired. I would imagine she's taking a nap.

HARVEY
Good. Uh...you want a drink? I really need one.

(HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK)

MICHAEL

I've got one.

HARVEY
There's something we have to discuss.

MICHAEL

I know.

HARVEY
About last night.

MICHAEL

Yeah, I know. Our evil pact to exterminate mommy.

HARVEY
Yes.

MICHAEL

You're going to chicken out on me, aren't you.

HARVEY
I think so.

MICHAEL

How come? No, let me guess...your conscience got the better of you. You've decided that it would rub your moral fibre the wrong way. Your sense of righteousness won't permit such a thing. Right?

HARVEY
Right, but---

MICHAEL

But nothing. You just don't have the guts to go through with it, do you? Just like mom didn't have the guts to go through with a goddamned abortion. You're gutless. You're a zero.

HARVEY
Now look here...

MICHAEL

Zero!

HARVEY
Look...

MICHAEL

No! You look. You look at this!

(HE GOES BEHIND THE BAR AND GETS THE SHOTGUN)

Look at it! Take a good look at it and tell me what you see.

HARVEY
It's dad's shotgun.

MICHAEL

Yeah...it's dad's shotgun. And I do hope you remember what he did to himself with this goddamned thing...what mother made him do.

HARVEY
He killed himself. The ghosts of yesterday. Mike, you said it yourself last night. It's time to forget about them. That shotgun you're holding means nothing to me anymore. Maybe it will this fall when it's time to go pheasant hunting.

MICHAEL

Now what does that mean?

(HE PUTS THE GUN DOWN)

HARVEY
The game's over, Mike. I know what you're trying to do.

MICHAEL

You do?

HARVEY
I do.

MICHAEL

You do.

HARVEY
I figured it out myself.

MICHAEL

Beginner's luck.

HARVEY
No...I'm a seasoned professional. You just don't know it yet.

MICHAEL

Yeah...right. Me too. It's just that nobody appreciate my genius.

HARVEY
What a cynic.

MICHAEL

No...a realist. That's a better title, don't you think?

HARVEY
No.

MICHAEL

No.

HARVEY
No.

MICHAEL

Oh. Then you don't think that I maintain a painfully realistic attitude toward the intrinsically awful nature of human existence?

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
The game's over, Mike.

MICHAEL

Don't change the subject.

HARVEY
You're the one who changed the subject.

MICHAEL

Oh, well...golly gee, excuse me.

HARVEY
Why won't you listen to me!?

MICHAEL

(UNAFFECTED) Go ahead, Bowser...speak.

HARVEY
Why don't you just go to hell? I said the game was over.

MICHAEL

(LIGHTING A CIGARETTE) Three times, in fact.

HARVEY
What?

MICHAEL

That's the third time you've told me that the game's over. Now, why don't you tell me what you mean.

HARVEY
I mean I refuse to be a tool of your...your vengeance. Mike, I know how much you loved father, and how you feel that mother is responsible for his death. But doing what you want to do isn't gonna do any good. It'll just make things worse. Much worse. And I'm not going to let you do it. You understand that?

MICHAEL

Bold words...especially coming from a mouse.

HARVEY
Don't test me, Michael. I'm not as timid as you think. You've been away too long. You see, I'm all grown up now...and quite capable of defending myself.

MICHAEL

Well, you do have spunk, kid. I've got to hand it to you there.

HARVEY
I mean it Michael. The time has come for us to change, for us to evict your so-called ghosts of yesterday from his house. Let's try to be a family from now on.

MICHAEL

You sure sang a different tune last night.

HARVEY
I was drunk.

MICHAEL

That's a chickenshit answer and you know it. I was drunk too. You don't see me suddenly becoming fickle, do you?

HARVEY
Well, I changed my mind. Something happened this afternoon which made me realize---

MICHAEL

That we shouldn't knock off dear old Alice Ford?

HARVEY
That it would be useless.

MICHAEL

And just what triggered this fantastic revelation? Sylvia?

HARVEY
Yeah...Sylvia.

MICHAEL

So what did you do? Tell the virgin what we were gonna do?

HARVEY
Of course not. I'm not that stupid.

MICHAEL

That's debatable.

HARVEY
It was something she said. It made me think. Let's let it go at that.

MICHAEL

No. Let 's not let it go at that.

HARVEY
(A SARCASTIC IMITATION) No, let's not let it go at that. Damit, Michael.

MICHAEL

Just trying to be analytical. It seems we've reaches an impasse and I'd like to know why.

HARVEY
You want to know why?

MICHAEL

Yeah.

HARVEY
I'll tell you why.

MICHAEL

Please do.

HARVEY
I won't match evil deeds with evil deeds. It's too damned destructive. Nobody benefits, although everybody seems to get hurt.

MICHAEL

You wanna bet?

HARVEY
Yeah.

MICHAEL

You'd lose your money sweetheart. Vengeance can be quite...profitable. If planned and executed properly.

HARVEY
That's a cold and cruel attitude, Mike.

MICHAEL

It's a cold and cruel world.

HARVEY
Not really. We've just got to change some of our attitudes, that's all. We've got to learn to love one another...instead of wasting time trying to get even with each other.

MICHAEL

That's a hackneyed and idyllic bullshit. A noble thought, perhaps, but one that totally ignores what us common folk call the real world. It's just not like that, Harv. Social Darwinism prevails, my friend. Survival of the fittest. It's kill or be killed. Screw or be screwed.

(PAUSE)

And that's the report from the trenches, Captain Ford.

HARVEY
You're wrong, Mike. You're wrong about everything. There'll be no more hating. Things are going to change. I'm going to see that they do.

MICHAEL

What did you do this afternoon? Take an overdose of insight with an idealistic chaser?

HARVEY
Insults will do you no good anymore. They're as useless as your scheme to avenge father.

MICHAEL

Yeah? And what about father? Who speaks for him? Can you honestly just sit there and tell me that you can turn the other cheek and let what mother did to him slip right on by?

HARVEY
Mother didn't pull the trigger, Mike. It was father's choice, and father's choice alone. And what business is it of ours anyway? What happened to mom and dad's marriage is none of our concern in the first place.

MICHAEL

Good God, would you listen to yourself? You sound just like some goddamned self-actualization book. Talking about how life is...or can be...the proverbial bed of roses, when the truth of the matter is that those little thorny flowers are planted in a garden fertilized with shit because they grow better that way.

HARVEY
Now what in the hell does that mean?

MICHAEL

It means I want to kill mommy.

HARVEY
And I'm saying that that's not gonna happen.

MICHAEL

And I told you last night that you have no choice in that matter.

HARVEY
(UNYIELDING) I've already made the choice for both of us. Either you play it my way, or you leave this house, this family, forever. Mercy. That's what it's all about, Mike. Do you understand?

MICHAEL

No. To be perfectly frank with you. I don't understand at all. I don't understand how you can just stand there placidly with your finger stuck up your rectum and tell me that it's all right for a woman to drive her husband to suicide; and that it's all right if she finds herself pregnant with her youngest son one day and then tries to dispose of him with a clothes hanger on the next.

(PAUSE)

I don't understand any of that.

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
I guess we never will.

MICHAEL

What does that mean?

HARVEY
(SLOWLY, DELIBERATELY) The game is over. Finished.

(UNSEEN BY EITHER OF THEM, ALICE APPEARS AT THE HALLWAY ENTRANCE)

I'm going to forget about everything that happened in the past and concentrate on what's going on now. I'm going to start a family . . .

(PAUSE)

And I'll go bowling on Tuesdays. And play bridge on Thursday. And I'll gratefully accept that little gold pocket watch when I retire.

MICHAEL

You're a fool.

HARVEY
But it's what I want, Michael. It's as simple as that. Middle class Americana ain't that bad. And there's one other thing.

MICHAEL

What's that?

HARVEY
All is forgiven. You're forgiven. The game is over.

ALICE
(ENTERING THE LIVING ROOM) You're right, Harvey. The last hand has almost been played.

HARVEY
Mother...

MICHAEL

What are you doing out here? I thought you were---

ALICE
Asleep? No, I'm wide awake, dear. Always have been.

(PAUSE)

Especially last night.

MICHAEL

What do you mean?

ALICE
It means Harvey's right. Your little game is over. My little game is over.

MICHAEL

Gee...how cryptic.

ALICE
I'll explain.

HARVEY
Explain what?

ALICE
It's time we got everything out in the open. We've been hiding behind lies way too long.

MICHAEL

Some of us have, anyway.

ALICE
True. And we know who we are. Don't we, Michael?

MICHAEL

Not me.

ALICE
That's a lie right there.

(MICHAEL'S FACE REGISTERS MOCK SURPRISE)

Yes, you. You are a liar. And I am a liar. Harvey's the only honest soul here. You do realize that, don't you? You're not as smart as you think you are if you can't.

HARVEY
Mother, you're not making much sense.

MICHAEL

That's not her style, little brother.

ALICE
We're going to change that right now.

HARVEY
We are?

MICHAEL

How?

ALICE
By telling the truth.

MICHAEL

Oh boy. Let me get a drink first.

(HE GOES TO THE BAR)

ALICE
I heard everything you boys said last night.

MICHAEL

What?

HARVEY
You did?

ALICE
Yes.

HARVEY
Everything?

ALICE
Everything.

MICHAEL

Bullshit.

ALICE
Oh? Does the phrase "life is nothing but a sojourn across a desert floor" ring a bell with either of you?

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
I thought you were asleep.

ALICE
I was too distraught to sleep.

MICHAEL

So you eavesdropped on us instead.

ALICE
You were drunk and loud. It was impossible to ignore you.

MICHAEL
I'll bet.

HARVEY
So you heard...everything?

ALICE
Yes.

HARVEY
Oh...Jesus.

MICHAEL

Oh...shit.

ALICE
Oh but for family dissonance.

(PAUSE)

You've been snowed, Harvey.

MICHAEL

What?

HARVEY
I don't think I---

ALICE
Michael's motives aren't as noble as they may seem.

(TO MICHAEL) Isn't that right, dear?

MICHAEL

(INNOCENTLY) I have no idea what you're talking about.

ALICE
Then perhaps I should explain myself.

MICHAEL

Here it comes...the rhetorical lie.

ALICE
The truth.

MICHAEL

Here we go again.

ALICE
Why don't you SILENCE that sarcastic mouth of yours for a change?

(PAUSE; THEN TO HARVEY)

You see, Michael didn't tell you all those things last night out of any great love for you. That's not his style...not by any means.

MICHAEL

You tell 'em baby.

ALICE
No, he had other reasons for dragging all the old skeletons out of the toolshed...mostly financial reasons.

MICHAEL

She's lying.

ALICE
No, I'm standing square on my feet. Just remember what he told you last night...especially the fact that he's financially destitute because he lost his job.

MICHAEL

Now I think you're going---

ALICE
YOU TRIED TO TALK HIM INTO MURDERING ME!!!

(PAUSE)

My sons want to kill me.

HARVEY
That's all been changed now.

ALICE
(SUDDENLY; TURNING ON HIM) You didn't feel that way last night.

HARVEY
But I don't feel that way anymore. Something made me---

MICHAEL

Can you blame him? You wanted to kill him...but you got cold feet when you saw the damned clothes hanger.

ALICE
True. But. . . but how can I answer an accusation like that? I was younger then, and I panicked. I almost made a mistake, but I managed to catch myself in the nick of time. All I can do now is apologize.

(TO MICHAEL) And whether or not Harvey forgives me is none of your business.

HARVEY
It's all right, mom. What's done is done.

MICHAEL

Well, thank you very much, Pope Ford. How quick you are to absolve this woman of her sins.

HARVEY
Will revenge set things right?

ALICE
No.

MICHAEL

Who asked you?

ALICE
Nobody. Who asked you?

MICHAEL

Jesus...

ALICE
I haven't finished my story yet. You see, Michael's broke. He needs money. So, he tried to discover the particulars of his father's will and his mother's will by having a nice little chat with the family attorney. And what he found out, or at least thought he'd found out, was that he'd inherit part of a substantial estate would something unfortunate happen to me.

(PAUSE)

I think your big brother's intentions are rather transparent...don't you, Harvey?

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
Is this true, Mike?

MICHAEL

Of course not.

ALICE
Liar.

MICHAEL

Bitch.

ALICE
Oh, poor, poor Michael. You've always have been a sore loser. Why, I remember when you were only four years old...when that little Tommy Snow who used to live down the street from us won that coloring contest.

MICHAEL

What does that have to do with---

ALICE
And you'd tried so hard to win it yourself. So what did you do? You gave him a bloody nose the next time you saw him out in the street. His mother never did like you after that...never quite trusted you.

MICHAEL

We were just kids. You know how kids behave.

ALICE
It ran deeper than that.

MICHAEL

A grocery store's finger painting contest? You bet.

ALICE
It revealed your basic personality.

MICHAEL

Oh yeah? For your information, I'm proud of my basic personality. I've done quite well for myself. I've survived, and I've survived successfully.

HARVEY
Just what is it that you've survived?

ALICE
And at what cost?

HARVEY
I thought you were broke.

ALICE
He is.

MICHAEL

Perhaps. But I'll pull though. I always have in the past.

ALICE
Maybe. But you'll have to do it alone.

MICHAEL

So what else is new?

ALICE
And not as originally planned.

MICHAEL
Perhaps.

ALICE
Perhaps nothing. I'm calling your bluff, baby.

HARVEY
I don't think I understand...

MICHAEL

That's a predictable response.

(TO ALICE) Calling my bluff...what in the hell does that mean?

ALICE
It means you're out of the will. Harvey gets the whole bundle.

HARVEY
I do?

MICHAEL

He does?

ALICE
Yes.

MICHAEL

But Marvin told me---

ALICE
That I don't have a will?

MICHAEL

Yeah.

ALICE
As far as he knows, I don't. I had somebody else draw it up for me.

(SILENCE)

MICHAEL

Well...

HARVEY
I don't think that's very fair.

ALICE
To who?

HARVEY
Mike.

ALICE
Michael's getting just what he deserves.

(PAUSE)

I did leave him one thing.

MICHAEL

What?

ALICE
Your father's shotgun. It seems appropriate, doesn't it?

MICHAEL

You're cruel. You're every bit the witch I ever said you were.

ALICE
You should talk.

MICHAEL

Survival, man. It's nothing more than a heinous, back-stabbing game. You know that as well as I do. I was just playing it to its fullest extent. And you're played it every bit as hard, or harder, as I have. Just remember your own past...because it illustrates my point so very vividly.

ALICE
I agree. I totally agree. I'm every bit as bad, as guilty, as you say I am. We both are. The only difference between you and me is that I'm not proud of what I am, of what I've done. All of your accusations are true. In that respect, I guess you really have won.

HARVEY
Mother...do you know what you're saying?

ALICE
Goodbye?

MICHAEL

What?

ALICE
Goodbye. Wave goodbye.

MICHAEL

Jesus...you've flipped.

ALICE
We both did. Long ago.

MICHAEL

Not this boy.

ALICE
(FROM THIS POINT ON, UNTIL THE END OF THE PLAY, ALICE BECOMES SEEMINGLY MORE IRRATIONAL. HER VOICE, HER ACTIONS, ARE EMOTIONALLY OSTENTATIOUS, YET THERE IS AT LEAST A HINT THAT SHE IS, IN SOME ODD WAY, STILL IN COMPLETE SELF-CONTROL) Michael...dear son. People like us are being phased out. That's why you'll fail, why you have failed. It has to be that way. Harvey...and other people like him...will be the survivors. Not you...not me.

(SILENCE)

HARVEY
I think I understand.

MICHAEL

Bully for you. You've got it made.

HARVEY
What do you mean?

MICHAEL

Mom's right, kid. Go out and conquer the world.

ALICE
I need a drink.

(SHE STARTS FOR THE BAR)

MICHAEL

(JUMPING IN FRONT OF HER) What do you want? I'll get it for you.

ALICE
(PUSHING HIM ASIDE) I can get it myself.

MICHAEL

Shit...

HARVEY
Oh, no.

ALICE
(SHE GOES BEHIND THE BAR, SEES THE SHOTGUN AND PICKS IT UP) Nice playthings you boys have.

HARVEY
Mother...

ALICE
I've decided that I'm not thirsty. (SHE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM WITH THE GUN IN HER HAND)

HARVEY
Where are you going?

ALICE
To the bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick.

MICHAEL

Why don't you leave that thing in here?

ALICE
With you? No way. (SHE LEAVES)

HARVEY
Now you've done it.

MICHAEL

Done what?

HARVEY
Why did you bring that damn thing out here in the first place?

MICHAEL

I thought I might need it.

HARVEY
For what?

MICHAEL

Don't know. Thought we might be attacked by a gang of nymphomaniacs. I wanted to be prepared to protect your virginity.

HARVEY
That's not funny.

MICHAEL

No? I kinda thought it was.

HARVEY
Was it loaded?

MICHAEL

Yes.

(THERE IS A LOUD EXPLOSION OFF STAGE. AGHAST, MICHAEL AND HARVEY EXCHANGE GLANCES, THEN RUSH OFFSTAGE)

HARVEY
(STILL OFFSTAGE) Oh my God...oh my God...oh my God.

MICHAEL

Jesus...oh Jesus.

HARVEY
Michael...

(THEY RE-ENTER)

MICHAEL

Just like dear old dad...

(THERE IS A LONG SILENCE)

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

HARVEY
No...

MICHAEL
It's all my fault. I realize...that this isn't what I wanted.

HARVEY
Does that make any difference now?

MICHAEL

No.

(SILENCE)

What happens now?

(PAUSE)

Where do we go from here?

HARVEY
I don't know.

(FADE TO DARKNESS AS THEY EMBRACE)

C U R T A I N

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