The Two Towers
by Jim Farrar (1975)
Far to the north there is a cave, a fascinating cave. When you enter it you find that it is warm, very warm. Walk for a bit and you find what you are looking for. Eureka! The enchanted hills. Looking at these reminds one of the ancient, long since past days of knights and dragons and spectacular wars, for these are the guardians of Inner Bodi.
At first glance these hills appear to be nothing out of the ordinary, just your every day pile of mucous. Their slopes are slight on either side of the passage and there is a substantial crater at the summit; very drab indeed. A bit in front of them on the cave’s ceiling, a large single stalactite hangs almost down to the floor as a fearful warning to all intruders. But, as I’ve pointed out, the hills themselves are nothing fantastic – they’ll never be a tourist attraction – it’s what goes on in them that makes the spine tingle.
You see, for many years ever since the birth of this land, the hills have stood here on the outmost edges of the kingdom protecting the people within from the forces of GERMany. Scattered throughout the mountains, are the forces of ANTIBODY, Inner Bodi’s special commando division. They guard the passage and prevent unfavorable intruders from entering the fatherland.
However, once or twice in the country’s eighteen year history, the forces of ANTIBODY have rebelled against the homeland and have carried out their own offensive against Inner Bodi. Then this occurred the capital located in BRAINAL, has flown in special PENICILLIN forces to suppress the revolution, meeting with success each time.
On the whole, though, the “protectors in the hills” have done their job well and have kept the country below free from outside infection. Their name? Tonsil Towers, of course.